Mandy again...

It's so hard. I honestly miss her so much.
Yesterday we were watching the Wings game at my sisters apartment and her favorite teal ball was sitting on top of the microwave and I just started balling my eyes out. I'd like to say that I'm just being retarded, that she's just a dog. I can't. She was so much more to me. So many little memories, so many laughs and smiles she gave me. I think about her every time I see a dog or anything that has to do with dogs. I put my head down every time I open the pantry and see her food/bones/treats. Her leash is still hanging on the hook, toys and babies are in their basket, her bowl still has fresh water in it. I just want to grab her head and scratch behind her ears, rub her tummy, blow in her face so that I get a kiss, smell her, cuddle with my girl.

It was the wrong decision. She likes those things just as much as I do. Who's side of the bed did she sleep on every single night? Who wanted a lab? Who named her? Who decided that red was her color? Who cleans her ears? Cuts her nails? Who's parents/family are just as much in love with her as I? Who's parents watched her when we were out of town? I don't see your Dad making up a nick name like Manderin. I only bring these things up because you should know that you're not only hurting me, you're hurting my family. My sister cried for Mandy, as did my Mom.

I am willing to bet that if we were both standing in a field, Mandy would run to me. The difference is, I would never let that situation happen. I would never hurt her like that. I think she needs us both right now. You're the one that's hurting her. You know she's thinking it. "Where's my Momma? I haven't seen her in so long. What happened?"